Despite being someone who's meant to 'know' stuff about this self-development/spiritual shiz, sometimes I check my facebook feed, read a magazine, watch TV or get recommended a book by a super-powerful woman doing super-power things and still I succumb to the bullshit.Momentarily, or occasionally for a little longer, I start to believe that people are doing life better than me. Their lives are super shiny, they don't have people die, they have money in the bank, they're far more successful than me, ohhh, perhaps my life really would be better if I was a size 8, maybe other people lives really are more awesome/exciting/fun - delete as applicable - than mine.
But all this? Well, it's just the weather. Stick with me on this.
You know when you fly on a plane and you go through the clouds, maybe there's some turbulence, maybe there's some sunshine, but you pass through the weather, and when you do, there's just infinite, infinite sky, right? All we have to remember is that we are the sky. Everything else? All the stuff that we think, the stuff that happens to us, our experiences? That's just the weather. Sometimes the sun shines bright and life feels as sweet as cupcakes and lollypops, but as delicious as this may feel, it passes. Sometimes there's clouds in the sky, the wind is still and there's just no movement, this passes too. Sometimes it can be really freakin' rubbish weather, like right now, the biggest storm cloud of the most epic proportion is blowing a gale in my world o' SASS, but when you realise that you're NOT the storm (which, FYI, is so much easier said than done, at times, I've totally let myself become that storm over the past few months, it feels like a constant dance I'm having with myself) this too will pass.
Simply allow the storm to occur. Allow the sun to shine. Say yes to curling up in a ball and making big fat eye water. Wail. Say yes to needing the touch of your beloved. Laugh.
The Viking and I pretty much hit the pause switch on our relationship when we found out about the mumma, we didn't go on honeymoon, we didn't plan to ever be too far away - just in case. I have limited the number of new clients I take on - just in case, I've turned down huge-ass work opportunities and speaking gigs - just in case, but then, just like that, my auntie, my mumma's sister died. Four weeks later, last week, my dad died.
Their deaths were the most bitter-sweet of reminders that we have absolutely no control over anything. ANYTHING. So we shouldn't even try. Instead, we should simply ask, 'what's the weather like today?'
It's raining? Feel that rain on your skin, hear it as it pounds against your window pane. It's sunny? Relish it's warmth, enjoy the colour of life when it shines. It's still? Enjoy the sacred pause. It's stormy, blowing a freaking hurricane force gale? Open up your arms wide open and surrender - not to the storm, but to yourself.
If I'd actually become the weather, if I'd continued to flirt with the drama that the weather can bring - good and bad, if I'd believed the stories that the weather whispered to me about who I am and what I should, would and could do throughout my past 34 years, I'd be rich, poor, fat, thin and dead. Twice. But when you ask yourself, 'what's the weather like today?' and simply observe it, allow it to come and go, rise and fall, like the pulse of your big beat-y heart, the idea o' success and achievement begins to looks very different.
To me, right now 'success' is:
- waking up thinking: 'is my mum still alive?' and the answer being yes. - being able to get up at all. Showering has been a particular freakin' successful event in the last month. - being held by my beloved and told that I am loved. Passionately and deeply. Just as I am. Whatever the weather. - Honouring my sweet self and those I love. - knowing I have beautiful, big hearted friends. - being of service by doing what I love.
If you allowed all the weather to occur, realising that you had absolutely no control over anything in your life, what would success really look like? What would be really freakin' important?
I'd love for you to share either below in the comment box or over at the SASSYology page on Facebook. If you haven't already, come 'like' the page and join the most SASSY members o' girl-kind in discussion, love and the odd swear word or four.