The need to be liked is human freakin' nature, but the real, actual truth o' the matter is, what other people think of us, is none of our bloody business. For ages, I worried about posting about my mumma's illness publicly because I thought my ability to work would be judged, when I talked about spirituality, I worried about being seen as 'fluffy' by the super spiritual, and being seen as 'woo-woo' by the muggles o' the world, the worry was relentless, time-consuming and all encompassing. It diluted my words, tapered my truth and ultimately served no one, least of all me.
If worrying about what people think of us is a limiting cage of our own making, telling our truth is the key to setting us free.
Y'see, I may have written a lot o' books, but I'm not the greatest writer. I don't know all there is to know about sentence structure or semi-colons, but what I do know is that my 'voice' is real and raw - not my talk-y voice, which, right now, because I have girl-flu sounds like I should be taking calls after hours wearing nothing but high heels and a smile - but the voice I use to simply articulate my truth with the world.
One of my most asked questions as a badass book coach is: 'How do I find my authentic voice so I can step, up and speak out in my writing?'
And my answer to them is the same as the answer I'd give to the people who wrote to me after last week's post asking: 'I want to tell my truth, but how do I find my voice?' In writing, and in life, you don't have to 'find' your voice, that would suggest you'd lost or misplaced it, you just have to give yourself one huge-ass pink permission slip to use the one you've got.
You riff with your big beat-y heart. So if you’ve worked with me, or you’ve read any of my blog posts about the writing process, you’ll know that I am ALL about the heart riffin’. Basically, you show up, open up and let your heart do the talking.
[quote style="boxed" float="none"] Show up, open up and let your heart do the talking. [/quote]
I LOVE this bit. This is WHY I write. This is where you allow your vulnerability to bubble to the surface, you marinate that vulnerability with your very own delicious brand o’ truth juice and bring it to the boil in your big, beat-y heart. Then, for best results, you wait ‘til your heart cracks wide open, and let the ideas pour out onto the paper in a delicious inky love/truth/passion mess.
It's exactly the same for life too. It's our truth, our heart essence that allow people to connect with us at the deepest level. When you speak out, some people will feel challenged, some people will be pissed, but the people that matter will start to gain a new respect for you. I don't have all the answers - jeez, I'm still trying to figure this shiz out myself, but I do know that when I'm NOT speaking out, when I'm NOT telling my truth, either in my writing or in life, it sucks.
I guess what I'm saying is, it's not easy. To be YOU. Truth telling is a muscle that we need to keep flexing and we need to not be too hard on ourselves when we feel ourselves NOT doing it either. Just be aware. Be aware of why you're not telling your truth, and acknowledge how that's making you feel. Don't get so hooked on figuring out the 'how', simply make the commitment, because it's the commitment that awakens dormant forces to support your awesomeness in the world.
[quote style="boxed" float="none"] Just commit to the doing, and trust that the 'how' will unfold naturally.[/quote]
SASSY: The Go-for-it Girl's Guide to Becoming Mistress of Your Destiny is available from here , signed by the author - me! - and come with a SASSY superhero postcard and 'Kiss My SASS' pin badge - woop.
If you want to give it as a present - all girlkind should own a copy - I can personalise a message and send it directly to the recipient, just let me know.
I know, I'm like the gift that keeps giving, right?