I share it all.I always have. First + foremost, before being a #SHEboss, or before anything actually, I'm a truth teller, a journalist in its truest sense of the word. I'm here to share truths, observations + experiences of what it is to be a woman through the written word. Which is why I DO share it all. The tough, the messy, the grit, the fun, the good, the glamour, the no-make up face, the my-parents-both-died-within-weeks-of-each-other-and-it-feels-shit, book launches, processes, fuck ups, awesome events, weddings - you can read it all in the various blogs, books, magazine features + articles I've been writing for the past ten years. Which is why I cannot wait to tell you the next exciting installment in my particular SHE story.
From May through to October, I'd been gathering notes + research + stories + thoughts in various notebooks for my next book + when I'm in that stage of book writing, I keep quiet about the book. I keep it locked up in my womb, allowing the seed of an idea to become a growing book baby without prying, outside eyes prodding + poking at it. When it started taking form + shape, I started to get a li'l ego-puffy about it, 'ohhhh this is so good!' I told myself. Then someone released a book with a similar title to the one I was working on. Other people wrote + told me about the book saying that I'd like it as the author talked about similar things to me. I got pissed. I didn't check out the book or the author, I just got really pissed. I got fear-y. I got angry. I wobbled. I was absolutely NOT in my power + allowed myself to be pushed off balance + pushed off course. I can now see that this was part of a bigger story, one where the patriarchal system wants us to be in constant competition + comparison with each other + I totally fell into it's trap, because I ditched the book. I held my hands up to SHE in a very drama-queen-like fashion + declared 'I'm not doing it, I'm not doing your work, you've clearly found someone else do it better than me, I quit. I'm going on holiday.' And with that I exited, stage left in a very flaunty fashion to Malta.
In Malta, shit got REAL. Also, it turns out you don't ever get to quit working for SHE. I WILL tell you ALL about my trip which really became more of a SHE-led medicine walk, in the next few months (I am totally going to invite you to come spend time with me there in 2016 because if you are in ANY way interested in connecting with SHE in a deeply profound + magical way, you need to let me show you around - what I discovered, who I met + how it all came to be is a book all of it's own!) but the bit you need to know for the relevance of this particular story, is the bit where I stood in the grounds of a 5,000 year old goddess temple.
Standing in this powerful + ancient energy vortex I felt my body fill with pure love. I felt a love for myself so strong, because I knew SHE was me and I was SHE. I FELT it. I was connected direct to source, through my own body. I was a source-eress. I wasn't looking outside myself, to a higher power, I rooted down into mumma Earth, the ground under which the goddess had been driven by patriarchy, I felt the stories of the ancients, my blood + bone, run through me, begging to be told in a time when they'd be truly felt + heard + I felt home. I felt home, in the lady landscape of Malta, I felt home in my own lady landscape, I felt home, finally, in my body.
What you see here is a woman fully in her SHE power - a woman who trusts her body wisdom, a woman who has grown strong + firm roots so she is able to speak her truth, sing her song, dance her dance + rise.
SHE is me + I am SHE. I am you + you are me. Ladykind, rise with me.
And on the plane ride home, I wrote a proposal for my book. It was the same book that I'd previously turned my back on, only now it had roots. I had roots. We both had roots in 5,000 years of SHE Power. Rarrrrrrrrrrr.
So you should know, every time I start work on a new creative project I create a mood board to call in my cosmic SHE squad (yep, Jem + SHEra are totally in my SHE squad, I mean why WOULDN'T they be?) + on October 28th, I lit a candle + sent my love, womb wishes + dreams to the energy + spirit of these ladies because a publishing team that I knew I'd LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to work + collaborate with took my book proposal to an editorial meeting. Cue the ruining of perfectly good manicure waiting in anticipation. Then I wrote. Because what better way for your muse/SHE/goddess/higher self to find you than in action, right? What you see here is EVERYTHING I need to start writing a book + I start EVERY book with the same ritual. I gather ALL the talisman needed to create the right energy for the book, chanting an invocation or two + asking to be an instrument o' SHE as I turn my shitty first draft into a real + actual book - jai!
🔻Three note books filled with the handwritten-in-red-pen shitty first draft 🔻mala beads - blissed + blessed daily chanting clears space for words to flow 🔻Ruby - in the hot Viking's yoga nidra a few weeks ago, I was told that I needed a Ruby to guide me. 🔻Ruby red nail varnish - every time I write a new book I choose a new nail varnish and paint my nails with it every time I sit down to write 🔻scarlet temple quartz - Magdalene magic. Always. 🔻Kat Von D Backstage Bambi lipgloss - power paint! 🔻magic box filled with treats and red thread from my sister + friend, Ani. 🔻Amma anointing oil - for when fear + doubt creep in + I need a mumma hug. 🔻sardonyx pendulum pendant 🔻power quartz triangle 🔻my SHE Power talisman - the pelvic portal! 🔻comfy pyjamas. Natch.
Then, on 11.11, lunar Samhain, the Scorpio new moon - basically ALL the magic - I signed a book deal with Hay House! AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I've written books for teens, I've been an author-for-hire + I've self-published my last two books (if book writing is your thing, please know that there is no RIGHT way to do it, you've got to FEEL into what's good + right for you) but damn, it feels SO good to have a book deal with Hay House. Some of my favourite authors + people I love, respect and admire are published with Hay House, my book shelf has been full of Hay House titles since my early twenties, I even made a mock cover design of my book SASSY with a Hay House logo, and while it didn't happen with THAT book, two books later, I got the call. Manifestation is real, just know that it doesn't necessarily work to YOUR timing! So on 11.11, I became a Hay House author! FYI: I will not get bored of saying that ANYTIME soon!