Now, for an only child like myself this is crazy hard to admit, but it's really not.
Recently I had a huge-ass can of aggro-sauce opened in my direction and I made the situ all about me. I took full responsibility, felt hurt and upset and almost tripped over myself apologising for things that were actually not my fault.
The thing is, and this is both super-challenging AND super-powerful, is not to take anything personally.
Here's the deal.
You have to take responsibility for what's yours, if you fuck up, you do whatever you can to make it better, but at the same time you need to stop taking on and making other people’s crap about YOU.
We are all totally accountable for our own behaviour, emotions and reactions. At first, when the aggro-sauce - the words of anger and spite - came at me, I was initially hurt and wanted to lash out, shout expletives and revert back to playground tactics. Enlightened I am not, but reacting in an angry childish way would have sucked me right into the negg-o space being created. The outburst was not about me, it was about the person who'd opened the aggro-sauce. It was their pain, suffering and unhappiness and when I realised that, I was able to come to the situ from a place of acceptance and compassion.
One of the four agreements in the aptly titled life-changer o' a book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, is to know that nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do about you, life and well...everything, is a projection of their own reality, their own life experiences. We're not $100 bills, not everyone is going to dig on us. We're also human beings, we fuck up and we do our best. But don't let other people's bullshit burst your bliss bubble. Work on the basis that the opinions and actions of others are actually none of your business. You'll save a whole lot o' needless heartache, and you can simply concentrate on sending out love stuff, dropping delicious bliss bombs and doing good awesome shit in the world.