So, yesterday morning I couldn't sleep. I love a routine, my muse? Not so much.
Which is why, at 4.30am I found myself watching Oprah - who I freakin' ADORE - interview Tony Robbins, he of big body and even bigger teeth. He's also known as THE dude in personal development. Did I mention he was hulk-like? The dude is a freakin' machine. I've been to one of his seminars, and he's on stage for up to 11 hours at a time and he's amped, and you're amped, and you're clapping and whooping and shouting 'I' really loudly, the energy is all kinds of high frequency vibin'.
Anyway, I watched the whole Oprah thing and I always dig her, and I still dug on him, but something he said, rang so loud for me that it was almost deafening.
"...If you want to take the island, burn the frikkin' boats..."
Now, I am soon to be married to a viking-type (I did mention that we'd got engaged, right?!!) who is very much of this warrior thinking, but me? Well, I like comfort. I know what I like, I know what works and I rarely deviate from my favourite lipstick - Barry M no. 52, my favourite chocolate - Galaxy and my favourite colours - pink and black. There's something rather warm and comfy about doing what we know, isn't there? It's safe, we know it, it's got us to where we're at now, right? But does it serve us? Does it help us serve others? Can we stay in that place if we want to start revolutions, make a difference, live a kick-ass life?
Tony Robbins, in all his big-bodied awesomeness, reminded me that if I'm going to really step up and step out in the world, I'm going to have to sail to that island called the life o' my pink-tinted dreams, then, when I get there, I've got to burn the frikkin' boat. Cut loose from the comfy zone and commit baby, commit.
This is hardcore. Once that boat is burning, and you feel the heat from the flames, there's no going back. All you can do is move forward, forward towards newness and I'm not going to lie, I'm petrified. I'm excited too, but mostly I'm scared.
It means: taking risks. less talk and more action. having absolute faith in your awesomeness. trusting your instinct. being led by your heart.
Did I mention commitment? It takes a truck load o' that too.
I've just stepped foot on the island that is the life of my pink tinted dreams. On this island I am married to the most beautiful, big-hearted man, our relationship is nurturing, fun, loving, sensual, hot and supportive, I'm healthy and glow-y, I eat clean food, I'm creating words o' wonder for love AND money, the books I write rock. Hard, my business starts revolutions amongst lady-kind, my friends are inspiring, loving, understanding and totally rocking in their worlds too, there is play - lots o' play - and life is fun and flavourful, in fact, it tastes pretty darn delicious. There's a part o' me that wants to turn back - the part that asks questions like: What if life can't be this good? What if I'm just not good enough to pull this off? What if I fuck it up? - and jump right back on that super-sturdy boat that got me here. But I can't because, last night, under the beautiful light o' the full moon, I committed, I lit the match.
The boat is burning and there's no going back.