What they don't teach you on ANY business course is that if you dare to create/share/teach what you are truly an instrument for in this lifetime, trust in it despite having no fucking road map for it, it will not only be of service to those who dig on what you share, but it will also be the biggest + most powerful healing practice you will EVER experience.
Right now, SHE Flow Summer School + the women that have gathered to share in this practice are breaking me open in the BEST possible way. In their stories, their vulnerability + their truths, I see MY story, MY vulnerability + MY truth.
We're a few days in, and we've started with a full moon + fire movement practice. This creates heat + this heat is an opportunity to burn away what you’re not, to reveal who you are. I didn’t like who I was for a long time. In fact, I spent a BIG part of my twenties writing self-esteem books for teen girls, yet I felt like a fucking fraud because at the same time, I was looking in the mirror and not always loving on the reflection of who I saw staring back. I now see that those books were love letters, affirmations to myself, to the teen girl in me who needed to know what I was sharing the most. But at the time, I beat up on myself constantly for not being the message that I was sharing ALL of the time.
We live in a world that tells us women should ‘look’ + ‘act’ a certain way, the beauty ideal (created by dudes) keeps us constantly striving for this totally unreachable version of perfect + we are putting crazy pressure on ourselves to perform + deliver at work, as parents, in the bedroom, in life… This shit is TIRING. It’s stressing our adrenals + it gives us a ridiculous amount of sticks to beat ourselves with. Yesterday in the SHE reading, I shared how Shamana wants us to trust our intuition, SHE Flow Yoga is ALL about Intuitive movement. It invites you through movement, to become fully INbodied, untamed + able to dance + commune with Shakti Ma herself through the seasons, the moon phases + your menstrual cycle. Unfortunately, everything we evoke in the practice, the idea of us trusting our intuition, of being unscripted and untamed, are ALL the things that our patriarchal society are afraid of. Which is why so many of us don't move our bodies in a way that feels GOOD + instead will only move them in a way that has a purpose or an end goal (weight loss, muscle definition, for example.) I held back from sharing this work for WAY longer than I should have mainly because, despite being a qualified yoga teacher, a curvy yoga instructor, a womb yoga instructor (I have certificates + everything!) I simply wasn't yoga-shaped. I questionned myself, second-guessed what my sisters would want + need + I felt BIG fear. How did I turn it around? I remembered what I'd ALWAYS known, but ALWAYS need reminding of. SHE works through me. This body, in all her bountiful abundance, is an instrument through which SHE works. I let all the fear around 'who the fuck do I think I am to share this?' burn in the fire of the practice, because actually, it's IMPORTANT that women see women move in different shaped bodies. Watching myself back in the videos before hitting the 'live' button was an interesting experience. Seeing the curves + folds of my body move in ways that is different to the ones we’re shown as forms of ‘so-called’ perfection, definitely brought up 'stuff', I'm not going to lie, but I let THAT burn in the practice too, because when I watched the video of me Shaking my Shakti - making circles with my hips + moving my hands like a Persian Priestess – I actually did a little cry. Because watching my body move in such a sensual way made me really proud that I reside in her.
In many shamanic societies, if you go to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask when was the last time you danced? because they believe dance and movement is a healing balm for the soul, so if you're not feeling the love for your body today, if you say 'I can't do yoga because...' or 'I can't dance', if you're complaining about stiff joints or big tummies, if you're feeling sad and can't leave the house, I say, put on your favourite tune, look in the mirror + repeat after me: "I am a woman + the way I move is divine."