I am beyond blessed that the nature of the work I do means I get to gather + sit in circle with incredible women. In the SHE Power circle, the online circle that accompanies Love Your Lady Landscape, we're having some big, truthful bloody conversations. Conversations about the righteous anger that's rising from our wombs. About women's bodies, about fairness, about race, about the state of our world.
NEVER has there been a time when we've needed women to trust themselves, trust their bodies + to call in their power more. When we're rooted in our power source, our womb, we can rise.
Rose Skye is in our circle, and this morning after an evening of roaring in circle with her about injustice, racism + bigotry, she shared this powerful + potent offering... When I asked Rose if she'd shared it anywhere so I could share it with you, she said the usual response is someone telling her to 'calm down'. I am SO over our anger, rage + any form of emotion being 'shh-ed', pushed down or silenced. I want to share it because it's already prompted some really fiercely truthful self-observation in me, I hope it's helpful for you too.
"..You've asked what can be done about the state of racism and bigotry right now. I appreciate it; thank you. You wish to want to step up is powerful. It's taken a lot of thought. Thankfully I've got a few processes at my fingertips and was able to get there without wanting to curl up into a ball. Now, I don't have the answers, and I don't have the energy. I can't take on the world, I can just take on the bit of it I live in. And that's something we can all do, I think. We have to stand firm, and that takes courage.
So, first thing I would say is: find your courage and your power. Standing up for yourself or anyone else is hard, especially when you don't know what the repercussions might be.You have to be willing and capable of being slammed down for speaking up. That's frightening, I know. If the only thing you can do is cultivate your courage to say 'no', then by all my various deities, that is good enough.
PoC parents are having The Talk with their kids. We all know what The Talk is: we all have to give The Talk.
My mother had to give me The Talk when I asked her what the n-word meant after coming home from school. I remember the look on her face to this day when she had to answer it. I think I was wearing the same expression when I had to have The Talk with my son. For those who don't know, The Talk is having to explain to your children what racism is, how to react to it, how to react to it safely because the authorities will judge you on whether you do it 'properly', and more recently, how to survive said authorities.
I'd say that everyone, everywhere, needs to have The Talk. If you are white, have The Talk with your children. Have The Talk with your colleagues. Have The Talk amongst each other. Don't ask a PoC to give you a crash course in The Talk. The Talk we have is unfortunately not why The Talk is bullshit - we can't afford that one. But you can. That's The Talk you need to have. Do your research, have The Talk.
There are various movements all over the world you can join if you have the energy, capacity and strength, but - and I'm speaking from my centre here - a movement is only powerful if you actually DO THE WORK. The 'safety pin' movement in the UK was something I side-eyed a lot because it pretty much was just symbolic. A lot of PoC called it out, because while the idea is sound, the practice? Not so much. A safety pin should have meant 'come to me if you are frightened and I will stand with you.' If you decide to wear a safety pin, then I'm asking you - begging you, really - to make it mean that. Make it mean you will call someone out on their bullshit. Make it mean you will not be silent. Make it mean you will offer to walk a frightened woman in a hijab home. Make it mean you will stand up, even though you're one woman and there are five angry dudes standing in front of you. It takes courage, it takes power...but if the whole point of SHE is remembering that, then you've got this.
Check on each other, check in on each other. Make sure people are safe right now, ask what you can do to help. It can be a simple, random act of beauty. All I'm asking is whatever you do, do it out of a sense of giving some moment of beauty to a frightened person right now, NOT to make yourself feel good about 'doing something'. I have friends who are in qui gong classes offering to walk people home if they're afraid of being harassed. I've seen coffee shops offer free coffee to PoC and 'safe space' for someone to duck into is they're afraid. Squads of kids tearing down BNP flyers, offering roses to immigrants. Small acts. Small bits of defiance. They add up. Speak up. Stand out. It matters.
Ok, I now have to have The Talk with the Dutchman - he's normally very supportive but his way of coping is with jokes, and his timing was TERRIBLE this morning. So now, his very much white dude-bro behind is gonna get schooled; as gently as I can because his ignorance is born from just that - ignorance, not wilful denial. He's awesome, this may be our first argument, but the thing I love most about him is his willingness to listen. I love him for it.
I can do that much today. I can do that much.
In peace, in strength. Ache!.."
As always #abloodyconversation - respectful, open + honest - is welcome...