What a month September has been, eh?!Are you feeling all the feelings? Despite all my best intentions, I've not written a SHE mail all month, I had plans to launch courses + workshops, in fact I had a LOT of plans for a LOT of things + as the month comes to an end, I realise that NONE of them have come to fruition. NONE.
But instead of sharing my offerings with you, instead of sharing the gazillion blog posts + insights I got while on retreat braless up a mountain in Spain, it seems the work for me this month was to be with myself. It's been painful, exhilarating + all-consuming but I teamed up with the goddess Lilith + with her support, I called my power back.
I write about 'calling your power back' in my book, Love Your Lady Landscape so you might be wondering why I'm still having to do it, I'll tell you for why. Calling back our power, whether you've done it in an ancient Goddess temple with me in Malta, whether you've placed your hand on your copy of Love Your Lady Landscape, whether you've created your own ritual, or pulled the SHE Power card over + over from the SASSY SHE oracle, it's not a one-time practice + voila, power is back + installed, womankind have been stripped of their SHE power by the patriarchy + it's a daily freaking practice for all of us to remember, reconnect + most importantly reclaim it.
So why did I call in Lilith? Because Lilith is a badass. She's hypnotic + she's magnetic. She's the goddess of sexual energy, creativity, rebellion + SHE power. She's a symbol of divine matriarchal energy that refuses to be dominated or controlled.
She's the one you need when you want to see where you're being taking advantage of, where you're letting others make decisions for you, where you need to get super clear about what's necessary + what's not + to see all the places where you're not acting from a place of power.
This month has been a tough one for me. Seeing where I'm not taking responsibility for myself + my actions, having to call out people who were taking advantage of me, having to be compassionate to myself for letting it happen, having to be firm in my decisions when people wanted to use guilt + blame to make me feel bad for those decisions, seeing where I've allowed people to tell me what to do about the things I care about + having to act in a way that might mean people won't like me + then having to be okay with that. Oy freakin' vey.
So basically, today this is a love letter from my heart + womb to yours, to let you know that NO ONE has it figured out. At least not all of the time. Even if they write books about it. (Yes, I'm talking about me.) THIS is SHE business. Trusting SHE, trusting flow (menstrual/lunar/universal), trusting your body wisdom + trusting that EVERYTHING is cyclic. When I finished the shitty first draft of WITCH (the next book), I wanted to go straight into doing 1-to-1s, I wanted to launch three courses, I wanted to do in person events + workshops, I wanted to be back in the blood + guts of being a woman WITH YOU. But each time I tuned in, I got a super-loud 'woah lady, not yet' - also my website broke, technology failed me (over + over) + my menstrual cycle was super extended as she begins to move my bleed away from the full moon energy she's been residing in during LYLL book launch + the writing WITCH (I'm so grateful for that full beam energy) towards the dark moon, + I trusted it. I continually trust it all. I got still, I got silent (silent meditation is my favourite thing - no frills, no pranayama, simply sit your arse on a meditation cushion, close your eyes + let the nothingness eat your mind over + over + over + over + over + over...) and I got slow + intentional, only doing what needed to be done + trusting that I knew what that was.
Which is why I've got nothing to sell you, nothing to share with you or tell you about (I mean I have, but apparently not yet) this is simply an invitation, under today's black moon which is linked to the goddess Lilith, to call back + reclaim your SHE power too.
Sit still, close your eyes + ask Lilith to show you (like she has been for me this month, sometimes more painfully than I'd have liked if I'm honest) where you're not taking responsibility, where you're handing your power over to someone else + ask for what you need in order to really begin to trust your inner authority, your body wisdom, flow + SHE - comment below, or come share with me over at instagram or facebook + declare them to me if you feel you need to be witnessed. I've got you.
Dark moon blessings, witches.